


I Do (We Did)

by whitchry9



Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: Accidental Marriage, Friendship, Gen, M/M, Marriage, Waking Up Married
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-19
Updated: 2017-04-19
Packaged: 2018-10-21 02:55:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10676229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whitchry9/pseuds/whitchry9
Summary: Matt's not exactly sure what happened last night, but he's starting to get an idea.





	I Do (We Did)

**Author's Note:**

> For my dd bingo prompt waking up married.  
> I legit wrote this ages ago and kept forgetting to post it.

Matt didn't know where he was.

And normally when he woke up and didn't know where he was, it was because he'd passed out or been knocked out, which usually meant he'd been captured.

This time, it didn't seem like that, mostly because he woke up in a ridiculously comfortable bed next to Foggy.

If he'd been captured, this was a weird way of doing it.

 

Next to him, Foggy groaned. Matt poked him and he startled awake before groaning again.

“Jesus Matt, where are we?”

“I think I remember... Vegas? You definitely talked me into it. Something about being able to gamble really well since I'd be able to hear tells. But we were supposed to save that for the next day, whatever day that was.”

“So how did we get... wherever here is? Which would be... where exactly? Somewhere in Vegas I hope.”

Matt leveled a pointed look at him.

“Okay, yeah. Well, based on the room, it's a mid-range hotel. Not really shitty, but nothing over like, $150 a night. Which brings me to the question, why are we sleeping in the same bed, and what happened?”

Matt wracked his brain. “I have no clue,” he admitted.

He felt vaguely nauseated, and suspected alcohol played a role in his memory lapse. “What time is it?”

“Ugh, it's afternoon. Almost 2.”

“What day of the week?”

“Um. Friday I think? No, it should be Saturday now.”

His heart spiked. “Wow, what is that?” Foggy gasped, grabbing at Matt's hand and yanking it towards him.

It was only then that Matt recognized the feeling of something being on his finger.

“Jesus, that is a nice ring,” Foggy said admirably.

Matt's heart dropped to somewhere around his knees.

“Ring?” he asked weakly. He felt for Foggy's hand.

He had one too.

 

“Foggy. Might there be a… certificate around? Like… one certifying our marriage?”

It finally clicked for Foggy too. He scrambled out of bed and rushed around the tiny hotel room, finally stopped with a piece of paper in his hands.

 

He tossed it, and it floated through the air, sliding down next to Matt.

“Run your feelers over that,” he said weakly.

Matt felt the text.

 

He and Foggy had gotten… married?

 

“Well. Husband. What do we do now then?”

Matt groaned. “I'm going to throw up,” he muttered, padding off to the bathroom.

“I think that's an overreaction,” Foggy called after him.

Matt didn't respond.

 

He emerged a few minutes later with a stale taste in his mouth that had nothing to do with the vomit.

 

“How did this even happen?”

“Based on my credit card spending, which, wow, by the way, we were exorbitantly drunk.”

“That explains my headache,” Matt groaned. “And the... coconut aftertaste? Artificial coconut is hard to mistake.”

“I have a vague recollection of tiny umbrellas.”

“Which really only rules out Josie's, since she refuses to stock them.”

“Agreed. But based on the aforementioned evidence…”

“We got drunk and married in Vegas,” Matt confirmed.

“Karen is going to kill herself laughing.”

“Yep. It's going to be hard to find another secretary that lets us pay them so little.”

“And can cook.”

“Well, clearly we can't tell her. I'm not willing to give up that casserole.”

“I am completely with you there.”

“So,” Matt said. “What do we do?”

“Well. I think we may just… have to break our sacred vow of marriage.”

“The morning after we made it? That's a bit harsh. Breaking up with me so soon?”

“This is at least half your fault,” Foggy pointed out.

“I take no responsibility for what the document does or does not say,” Matt defended. “After all, I couldn't read it.”

Foggy huffed, but didn't respond.

 

“Foggy, what are we going to do?”

“Well, I think we have the same options as anyone who gets married. We stay married, usually for the sake of the kids, or we get divorced.”

“I can't get divorced,” Matt groaned. “The Catholic church is not big on divorces.”

“I think they're even less approving of same sex marriage,” Foggy pointed out. “Not that I'm using that as an excuse.” He swallowed, and Matt would bet his face changed shades.

“I'll be back,” he muttered.

 

“That marriage certificate says we got married by Elvis, by the way,” Foggy called from the bathroom. “So clearly we cannot break the sacred vow of our marriage.”

“I hate to be the one to tell you this,” Matt yelled back, “but Elvis is dead. That wasn't him.”

Foggy gasped. “Matthew! Say it isn't so!”

Matthew snicked while Foggy retched again.

 

After Foggy's turn in the bathroom, he returned, triumphant.

“I've got an even better idea. We can get it annulled. We were both smashed, right? I'm pretty sure there's something in Nevada law that says marriage whilst smashed isn't real marriage.”

“Eloquent,” Matt muttered.

“Matthew. What happens in Vegas is supposed to stay in Vegas.”

“Agreed,” Matt huffed. “Alright. Grab a laptop and do some research.”

 

It took Foggy a while, which Matt assumed was due to the hangover rather than the inability to perform basic law research.

“Okay. So there was no fraud, we're not underage, married to someone else at the time, or too close of blood relatives.”

“That doesn't sound promising.”

“Yeah. No, wait. Lack of understanding. That sounds like it could fit.”

Matt nodded.

“So, lack of understanding, meaning we were unable to consent due to being intoxicated.”

“So intoxicated,” Matt agreed.

“Great. I'll look for the paperwork, and we can get started even today.”

 

It took Foggy another few minutes of browsing the internet, but he found the form in a pdf that he could fill out.

“Okay, let's do this. One of us has to be the plaintiff and the other the defendant. Which do you want to be?”

“Is that like one of us is the wife?” Matt wondered.

Foggy shrugged. “Dunno. I'll be the plaintiff though, just cause I'm filling it out. Otherwise they might ask questions. We were married here...” he clicked a box. “Reason for annulment... Lacked understanding due to...” he painstakingly typed in the box. “Intoxication. Oh, I guess we could have used insanity. No, wait, it means you would have had to become sane since then. Not likely. Oh well, this should do.”

Matt huffed.

“What can I say man, not many people would do what you do and still call themselves sane.”  
  
Foggy continued filling out the form, occasionally pausing to ask Matt a question or wonder something aloud.

“Hey, do we have any pics?” he asked.

Matt leveled a look in his direction.

“It's still a valid question,” Foggy said defensively.

“Well check your phone then. There wouldn't be any on mine.”

 

Foggy scrolled through, taking break from the form for a minute. “Okay, so far, all of these pictures look like you took them. Blurry, dark, and completely out of focus. I'm not even sure we're in any of them. Wait, that might be my elbow. I think it is. Oh, a video! Are you ready for this?”

 

He hit play, and Matt listened carefully.

 

“So, we are about to go get our marriage license,” his own voice said. “And for future reference, we are a little bit drunk, but sober enough to know what we're doing.”

“I am barely intoxicated at all,” Foggy announced. “I can still say the alphabet backwards and I'm doing a better job of walking a straight line than this loser.”

“That's not fair,” Matt protested. “You know I still get the spins. Worse even.”

“Yes, well,” Foggy dismissed. “You're allowed to be more drunk. I'll do the talking. You just do the quiet part and look cute. And if they try to say no, look super cute, okay? You're good at that.”

There was a noise, and the video ended.

 

“You nodded,” Foggy in the now told him. “You did look super cute. I'd give you a marriage license if you gave me that wounded duck face.”

Matt ignored that comment and its possible implications and instead focused on what that meant. “Okay. So clearly we were not that drunk when we got the license, or maybe even married. It was the honeymooning afterwards that really got to us,” Matt determined. “We were only a little bit tipsy, which could be explained away in my case by being blind, and in your case...” he shrugged.

“By being overjoyed at the prospect of marrying the man I loved,” Foggy said.

“Right. I assume we'd have more leeway when Elvis married us. He wasn't actually Elvis, who knows what else he was lying about?”

“Whether we were intoxicated, clearly. I feel like we could have slipped him some twenties and he wouldn't have blinked,” Foggy mused.

Matt ignored the clear possibility of bribery, because he liked to think he had some shred of integrity left. “But we can't use that as an excuse for getting it annulled.”

“Okay, so we go back to our first plan. We get a divorce.”

Matt sighed. “I guess if it comes to that, we could. Like you said, the Catholic church would probably prefer it over same sex marriage.”

“We're just dudes being dudes. Getting a divorce,” Foggy said diplomatically.

“Okay, so what about Nevada divorce laws?” Matt asked. “No, wait. We would have to get divorce in New York, right?”

“I think so. Let me check.”

 

Foggy pecked at the laptop some more.

 

“Oh no. We don't have grounds for a divorce. Listen: cruel and inhuman treatment, abandonment, prison for three or more years, adultery, living separately after separation agreement or decree, or irretrievable breakdown for a period of at least 6 months. We'd have to swear under oath. Can you do that?”

Matt's face fell. “No,” he admitted.

“Plus there's the filing fees... Let's face it Matt, we can't afford a divorce. Think of the children.”

Matt raised an eyebrow.

“I mean, we'd have to have children first, and then you'd have to think of them, but my point still stands.”

 

“So... we're married.”

“Yep.”

“And staying married.”

“Well, I mean we could file for divorce after being separated for a period, but that would take what, at least a year?”

“What I remember, yeah.”

“And let's look at it this way- I can never testify against you.”

“Which could be useful in my line of work.”

“Plus we could change the name to Nelson Murdock instead of Nelson and Murdock. Or Nelson Murdock squared. That would be cute, right?”

“Probably.”

 

They both considered it for a minute.

 

Matt groaned. “Who's going to tell Karen?”

“We could... not tell her?”

“Are you kidding? We're both terrible liars. We have to tell her.”

There was a brief moment of silence before they both said in unison “Not it.”

 

* * *

 

(Karen laughed her ass off and took a week and a half of vacation time, during which Matt and Foggy realized that maybe being married wasn't the worst.

And that they should have done it _ages_ ago.)

 


End file.
